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I Was ThisClose to Googling the Five Stages of Acceptance
Saturday, April 29, 2006

I didn’t get into Dumaguete. I found out first thing in the morning through e-mail, which probably is the worst way to find out since you suddenly have all these hours of consciousness ahead of you. It’s only natural that I felt like shit right after. I still feel weird right now, actually. Not shitty anymore, fortunately, but just really out of it. I did prepare myself for any bad news, but let’s face it, it doesn’t really work that way. In all fairness, I’m calmer than I thought I would be. I suppose it’s because all of this concerns the one thing I love to pieces, and it would be ridiculous of me to go apeshit over one mishap. I love to write. It’s probably the one thing about myself that I am dead certain of. It sucks hard that I didn’t get in. It. Sucks. Hard. But it would be moronic of me to get completely discouraged. This shouldn’t—and won’t—stop me at all.

I have to admit that this mindfuck of a summer has helped me get through this better than I had expected. All these strange, strange events piling up one after the other were bound to lend me a coping mechanism for any other Great Big Crazy that could come my way. I wouldn’t call myself conditioned, but something has definitely wrapped itself around me.


posted by marguerite @ 1:58 PM

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Marguerite.
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