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Ayan Na
Friday, August 25, 2006

As much as I love the flamboyance of my titi advisor and the fact that he has a tiny, pot-bellied Ganesh figurine in his office, I fear that he is turning my titi into something else, something that I, Little Miss I-Will-Do-A-Solo-Thesis-Because-Dagnammit-I-Have-The-Power-Of-Self-Belief-On-My-Side-So-Suck-Iiiiiit, just can’t handle. He means well, of course. In fact, everything he’s been telling me makes perfect sense. I just can’t shake the feeling that he’s taking me somewhere I don’t want to go. There has to be an alternate route. There has to be, or else I am fated to work on an impotent titi, a titi that I cannot love. Gasp.

Seriously, I’m starting to believe that I won’t be graduating on time. The thought had never occurred to me before, but then again, what long-term plans have I had that were accomplished according to schedule? Key life events have always happened to me either too early or too late, and if this titi is another manifestation of this irregularity, then I shouldn’t be surprised.

Of course, I’m also the type to scare myself shitless over a lot of things, so while my titi is being evaluated over the weekend, I will chalk all of this up to yet another case of paranoia. So while my mangled titi’s still in my advisor’s pigeonhole, while the need to slave over my titi’s kinks is postponed, while my non-graduation remains a theory, I will be


posted by marguerite @ 9:35 PM


Thoroughly Distracted
Sunday, August 20, 2006

I needed a break from titi work, so my cousin Whammy and I decided to whore around with the camera. With us is my little brother Liam, who, by some miracle, has taken a shining to me this afternoon. It freaked me out a bit that he wasn’t scared of me this time around, but I was very happy about it nonetheless. That little snotball is and always will be the most adorable thing on the planet.


kamukha ni tim yap.


boy mcdo.


the classic whammy.


he has realized, at long last, that i don’t bite.

posted by marguerite @ 6:33 PM


I Knew It!

Because the first thing victims of food poisoning should do after recovery is check out their celebrity look-alikes. Got the link from Vitt-oreo, who will always have more fabulous look-alikes than I.

Spent all day Saturday hot and nauseous in bed. I must have eaten something screwed up Friday night (my best guess is the chicken, those stupid cocks), but I got it out of my system and feel much better now. Well enough to post this drivel.

The only comparison I don’t feel weird about at all is the Janeane Garofalo one, since I’ve been told that I look and behave like her since forever. And I’ve always, always, always loved her to pieces. The fact that she has been able to retain her Nineties-ness without being condemned for it is something I really admire. I can’t think of anyone else who’s been able to do exactly the same.

The Meryl Streep one I don’t really understand. It’s probably just the glasses. I heard Michelle Branch has Filipina blood, so that’s most probably it. I have no idea who Kimberly Williams is, but I think it’s funny that she has a cowboy hat on.

And Tata Young. Oh, Tata Young. Sexy, naughty, bitchy, skanky Tata Young. Tata Young. One more time. Tata Young. The world has a spiteful sense of humor.

posted by marguerite @ 12:31 PM


Holy Moley.
Wednesday, August 16, 2006

My short story “The Slim Figure” will be published in the next issue of Story Philippines! Yaaaaaaaaay!


I feel fucking thankful.

I can sense Vittorio’s bitchslap coming aaaaaany second now. Wait for it...wait for it...

posted by marguerite @ 10:09 PM


Sunday, August 13, 2006

My short story “Hair” will be published in the Philippines Free Press this week! Yehey!

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

I’d write a longer entry about this long week, but it’s been a long week, and I still have to work on the titi. Aside from the Free Press yehey, I will also yehey for last Friday’s Mahalay + Heightsers gathering and subsequent hanging out at Mommy HegEMoness’ place, and last night’s trip to CCP for the BP jazz/ballet performance with Javi, Den and Twinks, where I finally saw a kinky-haired JM, a be-banged Candice and a few more Ibarangs after a long, long time. Woohoo. Puwede na yan. End entry.

Oh, and was anyone else as turned on as I was when Ryan Star did "Enjoy the Silence" last Thursday? I've been in a very Depeche Mode mode lately. Really end entry.

posted by marguerite @ 5:53 PM


Pains One to Four
Friday, August 04, 2006

My titi proposal was approved. While this is very good news, I also found out that the solution to one of my proposal’s kinks is to finish my screenplay in oh, say, two weeks. Yummy.

One of my wisdom teeth is aching, making it difficult for me to eat and to smoke. I’m still not sure which handicap is the good one.

Tomorrow is my grandmother’s big birthday bablooie, and I was designated by my mother to write something about my lola and read it out loud to the clan. Very reminiscent of Christmas family reunions when I was much, much younger and thought that using big words meant kicking ass. The thing is, I don’t want to read something half-baked and hypocritical out loud. I love my grandmother, but my reasons don’t exactly make for sunshiny birthday speeches, and I will have to write something safely pleasant. And the moment my relatives hear me saying something safely pleasant, they’d know something was up. The moment I get up from my chair, even. They won’t listen to what I’ll say, only to what I won’t.

A freshman girl tried to commit suicide in school today. She locked herself up in her car and slashed her wrists. Reason? A love triangle.

Now, I won’t comment any more on her reason. I’ll just tire myself if I do. I would, however, like to comment on her venue. A car in an Ateneo parking lot? Really? Really? Come to think of it, though, you’d have to be pretty fucked up to actually go through with a suicide attempt, so I suppose choosing a lackluster downright pathetic site to off yourself could match up with your shoddy logic.

But really. The parking lot? The guards probably saved her not just because they didn't want her to die, but because they didn't want her to die there.

If you really, really, really want to kill yourself in Ateneo, though, (which probably means you’re willing to die for an ironic statement, something I would find admirable if you put me in a stupid enough mood) I suggest the first stall in the CommDep girls’ washroom. Now there’s a pretty place to die.

posted by marguerite @ 6:02 PM


Wednesday, August 02, 2006

The deadline for the Ateneo nationals is in a few days. Insert exhausting, exhausted rant on being exhaustingly exhausted here exhaustedexhausted. Detsuahxe.


I got into the Heights Engstaff along with Arkaye and Marie. Woohoo! I’m an Engstaffer again after two years.

What? What’s that, Margie? It—It’s senti-time?

I remember the old, smoky, sexy, un-air-conditioned Pubroom. I remember being a puny freshman, oversaturated with Makiling-bred ideals, scared shitless of everyone. Worlds away from how things are now. The Pubroom isn’t as sexy, and I am now a puny senior, the Makiling-bred ideals all but diluted, loony enough to think that gademmet, I shouldn’t be scared of anything. (I’m still scared of a lot of things, don’t get me wrong, but I believe that I shouldn’t be. It’s a big enough difference. Hell, I’m petrified right now, but let’s not get into that.)

So now, I will rub my palms, crack my knuckles and beg the Big Kahuna not to screw me up too much this time around. Please.

posted by marguerite @ 12:55 AM


the girl

Pasig City, PH.

Damned the man, saved the empire.




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