Just got past the most awful stint of tonsillitis. Kicked it into gear by smoking with a sore throat all weekend. It isn’t the kind of sick you can snub, willpower willing. It’s the kind of sick that latches onto you like a monkey, shrieking and clawing and quaking with fleas, making pretty damn sure that you know that it’s there oh yes it is. My monkey held on for a whole day—24 hours of flaming skin, superfluous eyecrust, a seemingly squeamish skeleton and, of course, a throat whose condition has gone far beyond that puny, pathetic term that is sore. My throat was an open wound. My throat was disagreeable the way an epileptic elephant set in a cramped electrified cage on a bed of live mice is disagreeable. If I tried to swallow my own spit, my whole upper body would try to heave it back out, having understood that I was a functioning organism no longer. I struggled with my monkey in bed for the most part, just sleeping and writhing and feeling shit-sorry for myself up until my significant other, as such creatures are wont to do, came back with the most glorious antibiotics and a mission to get me fed.
This entry has no point other than to announce the fact that I have been very, very, sick, for people who have been very, very sick would very much like their having been very, very sick to be known to as great a population as possible, because no way in hell would they just let this piece of information pass without having it sit in other people’s minds for just a second, even, without letting it become this conspicuous snatch of thought, because they had to fucking suffer in ways no one can possibly understand to earn that stupid mental tidbit, so everyone else had better soak this information in oh they'd better. Damn straight.
a) a Northern-Chinese refugee b) a Kill Bill stand-in c) me on a vendetta to look like a more passable, non-yagit-like human being d) all of the above
I say D, please.
I am also on a mission to get a job/more regularized stream of rackets. Let’s just call this my staunch attempt at self-respect. But yes, because I am announcing this through the otherwise insolent medium that is the blog, I might as well tap my scum side and say: if anyone has something up my alley, please do not hesitate to contact me.
Dustin helped heaps by getting me spankin’ new evil nurse threads to complement my new ‘do (my shortest cut in 7 years), consequently boosting my general resolve. I look so different, but I don’t feel different in a detrimental way. I do, however, feel fucking determined. (And like a dress-up doll; I had to become female sometime this century.)
posted by marguerite @ 7:08 PM
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Directed by Cousin Whammy.
posted by marguerite @ 11:21 PM
Mandatory Pre-Birthday Blog Entry
Sunday, September 07, 2008
Last year, on the morning of September 5th, I woke up to find myself robbed of every crucial material possession I had. Akyat-bahay kids had climbed into my bedroom window, gassed me to make sure I wouldn’t wake up, and took off with my laptop, iPod, wallet, IDs, passport, passbook, and cellphone. Capitalist scum that I am, I felt barren because of it. Stripped of an identity, scrubbed until I was red, raw, and far too clean just five days before I turned 22.
Suffice it to say that last year’s birthday sucked hard. Spent most of it alone in the mall, buying whatever the hell I wanted in some reckless, hapless attempt to appease myself, then took my mom to dinner wherein I eventually crumbled into a clod of pure, sniveling self-pity. I felt like a mess. I was just scared shitless.
It is a whole year later and, without a shred of a doubt, things have gotten better. My life is probably still as much of a haze as it was before, but there are chunks of it that I know have improved. And despite being capitalist scum, it has nothing to do with any of that purchase power crap I hold so dear (read: my sense of abandon towards disposable income is still quite unhealthy and deserves to be frowned upon).
On my birthday this Wednesday, I know that I will spend it well. It will unfold at a steady, decadent pace, and in the company of a guy who is, in the most solid of terms, awesome. No niggling sense of unease. No troubling over having to be happy on this one day, because I know for a fact that I am.
Provided, of course, that I get in some rabid solo shopping time. Scum does get scummier by the year.
posted by marguerite @ 6:25 PM
Wednesday, September 03, 2008
Cousin Whammy, who is, bar none, my Favoritest Cousin in the Whole Wide Universe, is a finalist in this year’s .MOV International Digital Film Festival. His short film entry "Ultra" will be screened with the rest of the contenders in Robinsons cinemas from Sep. 24 to Oct. 7.
Delight in Dustin’s and my gullibility, magnified for your ridiculing pleasure on the silverscreen! Yay! Yay! Vote for Team Whammy!