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I Blog When I'm Nervous
Thursday, June 01, 2006

I had pizza with Pubey Boy a while ago, yet another pilgrimage in St. Mall’s name, and he told me a great Dumb Whore story. (And at the risk of incurring the Pube’s wrath, since I’m not sure whether he wants a monopoly of this story or not, I shall elaborate.)

He was interviewing the skanks from the latest Ponds Anti-Ageing Cream Thingy commercial, the one where said skanks—who are very white, blemish-free and unable to say their lines in a human tone—discuss in this airport lounge how worried they are that work stress is ruining their complexions. Oh yes, that one. And when Pubey Boy asked one of them what books she liked to read, she said,

“I don’t really read, but I read audio books, kasi they don’t strain my eyes.”

+++

After lunch, I went to the pharmacy, and there was this gay guy lined up behind me. He gushed over the pharmacy’s wide selection of condoms, and ordered lubricant over the counter with this huge smile on his face. I think he makes the world a better place.

Fast fact: cashiers at pharmacies are actually trained not to look customers in the eye when ringing up condoms. Maybe I should test them one day. Grab a box of extra-large, ribbed, chocolate-flavored, vibrating rubbers and do every single thing I can to make the girl look at me.

I would love to have a part-time job at a pharmacy, actually. It’s where you realize how many sad, frightened people there are. Save for that gay guy, everyone else looked so worried, handing over their prescriptions with almost crippling reluctance. And it’s fun to watch Xenical fly off the shelves.


posted by marguerite @ 8:02 PM

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the girl


Marguerite.
23.
Pasig City, PH.

Damned the man, saved the empire.

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