I'm Going to Regret This
Saturday, April 28, 2007

Okay, I’ll say it. I wish I had never heard of that particular curse for that particular award. If I hadn’t, I probably wouldn’t be this bogged down by the fact that I chuck out all kinds of text for a living now. In fact, I wouldn’t even see it that way. I would be way more grateful that I got a nice position this early, a position that says my four years in Comm weren’t for naught, that puts me in the company of intelligent, talented people who are just the right kind of strange, that insists on wit despite this country’s penchant for no-brainer design, that moves me to write all these good things about it in this stupid entry even if it’s just my third day.
If I hadn’t heard of that curse, I wouldn’t be this defensive cheeseball, damn it. I wouldn’t work on my short story with such repentance, staring at my Word document in the hopes that my devotion to it seeps through the fucking LCD. I shouldn’t. It’s wrong and I know that it’s wrong. I know that I should just quit whining about this, that I should be glad, at the very least, to have kept myself from complacency. And I know I’m embarrassing myself with this blog entry. I sound like a moron, and the fact that I just said that I sound like a moron will assure anyone who reads this that I am one. And the fact that I said that anyone who reads this (ad nauseam). Welcome, welcome, rolling eyes.
I just need to get rid of this paranoia, that’s all. Stupid curse, screwing up my peace of mind.
Okay. I’ll shut up and live my life now.
posted by marguerite @ 10:37 PM
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