V-Day Reprezent, Yo
Thursday, February 14, 2008
I spent Valentine’s Day dressed as a man. I spent Valentine’s Day dressed as a man because if I weren’t, there was a greater chance of me getting arrested. Although the fact that I was dressed as a particularly devious-looking, aspiring-ghetto-thug of a man couldn’t have helped. In any case, today’s Hare-Brained Scheme didn’t pan out the way Pubey Boy and I had planned. Not like we had done a lot of strategizing and blueprint-pondering beforehand, anyway. We did at least achieve the goal our sloppy shenanigans were meant for, but that was only because we managed to whip up a Plan B at the very last second. So I looked like part of Akon’s entourage for nothing.
Sadly, I can’t give away the decent details. I know it’s very, very highly unlikely that the concerned building’s security will come across this piddling swatch of cyberspace, but I’ve had my fill of risk-taking for the day. To get it out of the way, this gimmick was purely harmless. In no way was the plan about hurting anyone, and the deed couldn’t have been that real, you-will-go-to-hell-for-this kind of bad even if it tried, and tried hard. At best, what we performed was something along the lines of an annoying inconvenience. If I wrote here the exact act committed, in fact, I bet you’d want to smack me in the head for being so fucking secretive and histrionic about it in the first place. And really, I was only in on the deal as the photographer.
I will say, though, that I was made to dress as a man because the deed I had to shoot was in a men’s restroom. And no, whatever sick, most likely sexual, shit it is you’re thinking, that wasn’t it. The reason why our original plan fell flat was because we grossly underestimated my aptitude for androgyny. Those janitors knew I was a scared little girl the moment I and my pitiful excuse for a manly aura swaggered towards those stalls. They even sniggered and tried to stare at me directly, swooping their faces down to meet mine, even though I had tried to cloak my mug with my hoodie hood as nonchalantly as I could.
The photos were eventually taken by Pubey’s male friend who just happened to be in the area. We got a hold of him a little bit after I had scurried out of that restroom all ovaries-on-legs. I know you’re wondering why we hadn’t thought of dragging someone with an actual penis to wield the cam from the beginning, and believe me, we had thought of that, too. We had. We can recognize and generate logic, we can. But then where’s the fun in that?
posted by marguerite @ 10:42 PM
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