The Girl in the Dirty Shirt

Poppin'

Wednesday, January 07, 2009

If that goddamn Abu Sayyaf scarf was the source of sartorial sore eyes last year, methinks this year’s fashion fuck up (among our native jologs, anyway) is that goddamn un-worn baseball cap. You’ve seen this at least once on the street—a mesh baseball cap set precariously on top of some semi-kal skull. Not fixed safely onto the skull, as anyone with a smidge of logic would wear a cap. Just on top of it, the edges of the cap barely clinging on to the curvature of someone’s head (which, I would naturally assume, is empty).

Just as the Abu Sayyaf scarf taunts me to grab it and wring its wearer’s neck, the un-worn cap goads me to slap my palm down on its wearer’s head, placing it on properly myself. I know hiphop has a lot to do with excess, but this has to be the dolt-iest trend it’s come up with thus far. Yes, grills and shutter shades are pretty stupid, too, but at least you actually wear them. This cap thing is really retarded in comparison. It’s like pulling your shirt over your head and not putting its sleeves on, letting it stay there on your shoulders like a rag around your neck (scarf, much?).

I guess the only good thing that may just come out of this is better posture. Which totally negates the overall ghetto disposition, but I don’t know. I wear hoodies in the scorching heat, so who am I to diss.

BUT REALLY! The logistics of this cap thing is beyond me. Unless you use glue or double-sided tape, can you really commute with peace of mind? Can you keep small pets in the resulting hollow?

This may very well be another phallus-related cry for help among the male population. Nigga ain’t hung, so he might as well make up for it by being (metaphorically and costume-ily) dickheaded?

posted by marguerite @ 4:14 PM